How to stop seeking validation?|15 Insane Ways for How to Trust ourself

External validation is making your head spin . . . it is lowering your self-confidence and shattering you from within.

If you are wondering how to stop seeking validation from others and be self sufficient then this blogpost has got you covered with the essentials.

Yes, you can regain your self image with just few steps.

Ready let’s dig in:

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Table of Contents

1# Take a social media break

Is most of your time sucked up by social media?

Well, time to take social media break then because it is a place where external validation starts.

You need to go on a detox and nourish your mindset about yourself to eliminate the comparison which is throwing you towards anxiety.

You truly do not need all those likes or comment to reinforce your self image.

Do you?

2# How to stop seeking validation: Be mindful

Keep track of your everyday achievements.

There is no hint of self-obsession in this point.

Rather this tracking will ensure that you are aware of your self worth each second.

Through this journal, you will able to also look for improvements in your everyday achievements which will eliminate the need for self-validation in the first place.

Yes, you have to acknowledge your skills, talents, and abilities for self-validation.

3# Check your behavior

Are you actively ask people about their opinion?

Are you then changing your opinion and drifting it to align with what others think?

Why are you asking others in the first place?

Because you are stuck in insecurity, doubt, and uncertainty.

Every action which you take today comes from the belief system present in your subconscious mind.

How does this system develop in the first place?

The repetition of the mental note “I am not good enough” constructs this system.

You need to get rid of the old belief system and make a new one filled with self-worth.

*****Learn how to build self-worth here. *****

4# Try To Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval

Question yourself why you are not seeking self-validation.

This is vital if want to stop seeking external validation

Next time when you begin to doubt yourself and start seeking validation I need you to answer these.

Journal them out or solve such questions mentally.

“Why don’t I trust my own opinion on this matter?”
“Why am I uncertain?
“Why I need the approval and what difference it will make?”

5# A specific way of journaling Your Thoughts

You have to figure out your internal struggle for battling this external validation syndrome.

Grab a thoughts journal
Every day fill a page about the thoughts you had
By the end of the week review the pages
Circle the most consistent thought or feeling you had the entire week
Fix the feeling if contributes in diminishing your self-confidence

6# Learn To Accept Yourself For Who You Are

Do you accept yourself in any way?

Do you practice self-acceptance all the time?

Is that acceptance unconditional?

Do you worry about what other people think instead of focusing on whether it makes you happy or not?

It is hard to accept ourselves as we are. We will find more flaws in ourselves than someone else ever could.

If you will learn to accept yourself under every situation only then you will be able to ripe the seeds of self-confidence.

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7# Practice Self-Love

How much do you care for your close friend?

Rate this on a scale of 1 to 10.

Now the same question flips for you. How much do you care for yourself?

Are cherishing your being?

Are you doing every kind of thing that is vital for practicing self-care?

Are you practicing self-compassion?

8# Trust yourself

I want you to answer that how much do you trust yourself?

Again on a scale of 1-10. I know it is less than 10. What can be done about it?

How to trust yourself?

By not putting others before yourself. By getting rid of Approval seeking personality

9# Try To Think Like A Millennial

If you are a true millennial then you need to prove it.

How?

By being more comfortable with yourself.

If you are not aware then it is known that millennial possess an enormous amount of self-confidence and they will be confident with whatever they bring to plate.

So, girls act like one.

10# Make friends with rejection.

This one is easy to do.

If I ask you to think about the times when you faced rejections or failed to meet expectations then you will have no problem.

You will come up with a list of events when you disappointed yourself.

Now tell me how you overcame such a situation.

What was the process of recovering from that slip-up and what you actually learned?

I am sure it helped you grow.

Remember that you are seeking validations because of previous failures and disappointments but get one thing straight: rejection is your friend.

11# Embrace a growth mindset

Another way of not seeking external validation is by embracing a growth mindset.

Prioritize learning as through learning you will be constantly improving and evolving.

This improvement and growth within you will make you free from seeking external validation.

People with a fixed mindset will take any comment, disapproval, and failure as a sign of disappointment and thus will be forced to seek validation.

I have especially inked this detailed resource for mindset improvement. Warning: It is powerful.

12# Focus on the process, not

outcomes.

Become process-oriented rather than the outcome.

Are you too attached to the results?

If you will be running after outcomes then you are prone to have an approval-seeking behavior.

So just focus on improving the process. How will it help?

Well, you will not weigh your self worth with the results you get.

Rather you will appreciate the drill and efforts involved.

Question yourself: Am I narrowly attached to the promotion?

If yes then I am relying on external standards for appreciation.

Don’t take validation from things that you cannot control.

13# Understand and prioritize your agenda.

If you do not want to rely on external validation then you have to get clear about what really matters to you.

What is your priority?

What is the thing which you will never negotiate on?

You need to sink into the habit of prioritizing your agendas.

Understand your wants and stick to them.

14# Be kind to yourself and say a definitive, “no”.

You need to stop nodding your head for a yes.

I have seen a lot of people who have a hard time saying no.

You need to stop people-pleasing because let’s get honest here: people do not care in the end.

It is you who matter.

You cannot make everyone happy but you have the ability to make yourself happy.

Then why not take a route which is worth offering a satisfactory, and fulfilled life.

Do not let go of your plans just because someone has different expectations.

This is a form of Seeking validation from others.

You have to be kind enough to yourself. So next time when anyone unintentionally interrupts your plans just be kind and say a definitive no.

Trust me, people will respect you for that.

Learn to validate yourself.

Self validation & internal validation is what will get rid of your approval seeking behavior.

15# A rewarding way of journaling

I excessively blog about journaling.

There are countless ways of inking out anything, yes like anything.

I have already mentioned about journaling out your thoughts.

Now is the time to journal for self-discovery.

You have to write down three things you love about yourself.

Ink three things down every day. Are you like, “Eisha it is hard to come up with 3 things every day.”

Trust me, it is not.

How will this help:

You will not seek others to validate because you are enough of reminding yourself of the incredible power you possess.
If you are a bit confused about this process then I will highly suggest you check this resource related to self-discovery.
Explore journaling incredible prompts.

Final words for how to stop seeking validation:

From now on Become conscious of the time, of the instances when you have put others before yourself.

Valuing others and loving them does not mean that compromising your identity.

The best way of stop seeking validation is through self value.

This self love mini kit is sure to help you.

Explore the best ways through which you can celebrate your existence everyday

. . . to live a life you deserve.

SPOILER: You Only Live Once !

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