You are currently viewing 7 Helpful Ways of How to Overcome Grief After Death of Father [my story]

7 Helpful Ways of How to Overcome Grief After Death of Father [my story]

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How hard is it to admit ‘Yea, I have crippling depression”?

There are 10s of million people who suffer mental illness and 99% of the root cause turns out to be depression.

Don’t you think life throws us off the cliff and compels to fight depression?

You must be aware of what depression or grief feels like.

Yes, like me.

It is not long ago that I got slapped with the reality of life.

Feeling sad over tired listless fatigue hooked me completely.

But with consistent steps and a spoonful of courage, everything changed.

You won’t agree more, how hard it is to tell someone that you are suffering from depression or grief.

For many people, it is not a big deal.

Ever wondered why?

People only show concern when they can, in actual sense, witness your pain.

Yes, those physical wounds.

They are oblivious to the answer of what is depression . . . 

 

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Depression Causes?

 There are listless causes of depression.

Chronic depression about losing someone, career problems, relations, financial situations, illness, or other symbolic losses.

I experienced major depression because I lost my world until death. My dad.

The last person who suddenly departed . . . and the last goodbyes were never said.

Wondering why I am referring to the loss of a loved one as major depression?

Because It will let the financial crises, career challenges, and stressful relations trail behind

. . . The mounting bills, zero concentration on the career, and unexpected behaviors of relations.

I have been through it all.

But trust me losing my dad, my most precious one, shook my life and flipped it completely unlike all other causes.

One family member gets missing out of sudden, won’t you expect the change of roles?

These things will multiply your stress unless you find a correct way out. And I did.

Effects of depression: a journey of complicated grief

With whichever depression, you are suffering with . . . it is showing its effects.

And what are they?

I am not talking about the typical effects of denial, anger, sadness, fear, or other accompanying losses. I am referring to these effects below:

What does depression anxiety do to you immediately?

  • The most common struggle with depression is the disturbance in sleep. I became miserable. Whenever I used to shut my eyes the flashes of that unfortunate day used to appear before me.  Even staring at the ceiling did not help as all the memories of twenty years with my loved one used to puncture my heart. Sleeping for a few hours would only invite nightmares to increase the depression attack.
  • You will question, ‘Why am I so lonely?’ Feeling of loneliness will mount your depression effects.
  • Often in emotional numbness, you will hallucinate and even think as if hearing the voice of a deceased person. One day, I also felt that my dad just called out my name . . . then streams of evident tears.
  • You can suffer from weight loss due to loss of appetite.

Long-term effects of depression: Does depression ever go away?

  • You will also feel depression fatigue, as you will be devoid of energy. Physical exhaustion is a symbol of anxiety that will not allow you to even clean your room. You will be tired of living and the untidiness will prevail.
  • There are also some social effects of depression. As you won’t want to attend any gathering or special events. You will be like I hate this world. And this can continue for years.
  • You can also suffer from unbearable guilt from depression thoughts.
  • A research of 2015 showed that depression has the ability to change the structure of your brain. The brain circuits get changed when a person looks depressed.

 7 Powerful practical ways to overcome grief

Studies show 6.7% of American adults
each year get affected by depression.

Out of such a large number do you have an idea of how many actually seek treatment?

Studies show that only about 35.3 %.

Why do many resist overcoming grief?

Well, they underestimate its effects and think it is not that serious to be cured.

How to actually overcome grief without several appointments from a therapist?

Is there an escape possible from irritable depression without the consumption of several medications?

If these questions are burning in your head then I assure you the guide below has got it all covered. You need to help yourself as trust me no one . . .
NO ONE else is going to do that for you.

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Best Tips When Feeling Down (1)

1- Overcome grief by shifting your mindset:

You are your thoughts? Do you know why we feel depressed? Because of a thought.

That thought is constantly looming over the head and feeding “I am feeling down”

Now, this thought is on repeat.

This looping turns the thought into a belief. This belief is extremely dangerous because this belief is giving rise to your depressed emotions.

The feeling you are having right now is the result of your belief. Hard times have struck you.

But if you continue to ingrain this belief and evoke the depressed feelings then you will be the one for turning it into a reality.

Every second your brain is vibrating energy into the surrounding.

By repeated emission of the same energy of high intensity, you are in essence attracting more of depression into your life.

The same type of energy attracts and the law of attraction is one of the laws of the universe.

The only difference is that you can not prove it like gravity = 9.81.

I cannot prove it to you.

But your own life can.

What you are experiencing today is the result of what you thought yesterday.

Your life will continue on this track because every day you have the same thoughts which feed the same beliefs into the subconscious mind and thus attract the same depressing events in your life.

This is very much scientific.

I highly encourage you to read this post: thoughts are things because the moment I became mindful of my thinking pattern.

My life changed.

why is life so unfair (2)

2- Overcome grief with Journaling

Next, I can’t stress more importance of writing down your thoughts.

This is a therapeutic tool that is better than any therapy.

It healed me.

Get the facts straight: Every time you will not find yourself surrounded by a bunch of close friends, grief counselors, or family members.

No one stays for long and in the end, you will remain together with your loneliness.

So why not befriend loneliness to overcome grief?

Yeah, you read that right. I have done this myself.
Trust me the sort of inner satisfaction which I find when I am all by myself is beyond description.

Resolve your feelings to overcome grief.
This is a way to address else it will stay within for years which will have a negative influence.

If you are not yet aware of the magical capability of journaling then that is because you might have not used it with the right intent.

You can attract miracles and get rid of your past by manifestation journaling.

The suffering time has taught me Triple G’s journaling technique where you find the answers to all your problems.

It is a method of connecting with infinite intelligence where all the answers already are. You can find more about her here.

So if we generally talk then you can resolve all your issues with journaling!

Great grief therapy.

  • Open up a journal and write what is disturbing you? 
  • Throw in as much negativity as you want into the journal. 
  • Now take out at least 8 reasons for bringing your life back on track. Write 8 things that you can pull out of the incident.
  • Come up with any creative expression to fight depression.
  • Try scrap-booking as this will be a great source of coping with the depression. As depression sucks! You need to use such creative expressions.
  • If unaware of what to write then the easiest thing is to grab random items from your room.
    Pick candles or earplugs. Start writing about how it symbolizes what you are going through.
    Compare your situation with the candle. Observe how it melts away in the process while giving light to others. In the same way, relate earplugs to your situation.

3- Overcome Grief through Gratitude:

I get what you read through this headline. You will be like,

“I want to punch this girl on her face for telling me to be grateful.” 

Read this complete and trust me you will realize that I don’t deserve this sweet-cruelty!

Focusing on scarcity will transfer the feeling of incompleteness.

But focusing on gratitude will cultivate appreciation and kindness within you.

Think of gratitude as a tow truck that will haul you from the pits of your depression.

I understand that you are in a severe depression right now.

Thus when you will start to ponder good things in life, you will hardly be able to name one.

You will be in life. I have nothing . . . exactly NOTHING to be grateful about.

Start small from a day, rather than listing gratitude for your whole life.

Quick action:

Gratitude in a day:

  • Gaze through your window and relish those first spring buds.
  • Enjoy the messages of wind when it caresses your cheeks and blows off the oak leaves.
  • Think that those who departed can’t relish nature again thus you should be grateful.

Gratitude in a week:

  • Thankful for the loving people in your life who visited you.
  • Gratitude about the food, water, clothing, and shelter you have.

Gratitude in a life:

  • You have five senses to thank for.
  • If any of your closed one has departed then other closed ones might be still there. My dad departed thus I only have my mom value more.
  • You must have accomplished something by far in life. Something to be proud of.

Additional Tips:

  • Phones for tracking your gratitude: Use of notepad. Start specific and then expand on general blessings that you are availing.
  • Pay the token of thanks to your loved ones:
    You need to value them before dealing with a loss. Before it is too late. Write a compassionate letter which will impact their life. No matter how much advancement the technology has taken. But this method will give you inner satisfaction together with mental wellness which will be different in its way.
  • Are you sure you can feel the gratitude for real? If no, then here lands the solution: all you need to do is visit less fortunate people. Tears are guaranteed to roll off from your eyes. No matter how stone-hearted or strong your long-term depression has made you.You need to jump over it and see the world which is waiting for your kindness and love.

Tapping my tale:

Reflecting my own experience: I lost my world but I am thankful that I got to live with the best father for twenty years of my life.

By this time your list will not be just a blank paper. You will now not be staring like an unprepared student for an exam!

But this time, you will run out of space.

4- Fast-forwarding flashes to Overcome Grief

You will eventually begin to hate stuff when incidents of history will loop over and over again.
Get rid of those flashes of melancholic depression by a simple exercise.

Quick action:

  • Make use of a notepad or any paper. Mark the count for the next seven days when those flashes strike.
  • As a part of grief counseling, skip to the next thought rather than responding to the memory. The next thought has to be a supportive incident.
  • The supportive story has to be a safe, hopeful, goal-oriented, or calming story. Get the intricate details of that story which is enough to pour joy onto your lips.
  • The supportive thought has to have all the five senses (sight, sound, hearing, smell, touch). You will feel the change of sensation once you will relive the supportive story. This will help to stop depression.
  • This will become your resilience story. As you will be heading to a calmer situation from a difficult and haunting one.

Tapping my tale:

This common trauma has hit me several times. I used to recall the dead face of my father.

Especially the time when his body was brought and how I touched him.

I do want to recall my father every second, but only the good memories with him.

I don’t want to live with the memories which are enough to haunt you and tear your heart every day.

Remember living with depression is not an option now, overcome depression, and deal with it.

why is life so unfair (2)

5- Overcome Grief with Music 

You can feel a dramatic change when you are feeling hopeless.

It is a therapeutic tool that you must use for healing your soul and overcoming depression.

Quick action:

  • Listen to old songs which have exciting memories to enjoy (Do not listen to the songs which have bad memories attached. It is not escaping the event but preventing)
  • Experiment with new music and see if your mood fluctuates.

Tapping my tale:

Personally, this grief therapy has helped me to stay motivated. I listened to those songs which have special memories attached to my dad.

Those songs have made me relive the moments of my childhood.

Every other song reminds me of those golden days which we all cherished together, as a family rather than depression thoughts.

This might work against some. It depends on the situation

6- Overcome Grief with money:

If you are depressed about your goal or career choices then you are free to skip this.

If you are financially stable then you can cure depression and achieve inner satisfaction by helping one in need.

Keep money which is just enough for your financial independence.

As for the rest, play your part in others’ lives. Your generosity won’t disappoint you but diminish your depression anxiety for a lifetime.

Quick action:

  • Help someone achieve their goal in business
  • Finance the education of someone
  • Shelter the homeless and contribute in any way possible
  • Spend on your family for their happy adventures

Tapping my tale:

I sat with people in whose life I can contribute in any WAY.

Living for only oneself is very easy but living for others is the real challenge.

This challenge has really rewarded me in diminishing my depression.

6- Overcome Grief with spiritual practice

Realize the importance of mental health through spiritual practice. You do eat nutrients vital for your body but what about feeding your soul?

Quick actions:

You have to establish a formal place for meditation for depression counseling. A spot where you could dispose of all your negative energy.

Go into the woods, explore nature, and feel it.

Pay great attention to your breath and control it
Connect your beliefs and happenings in your life together to find unanswered questions.

If you don’t feel like going out then at least reserve a corner in your house for filtering out your thoughts.

Go for hot yoga, saunas, or warm baths in hot tubs, as warming up can help. Charles Raison highlights in his study that exposure to heat can have antidepressant effects.

7- Doing something hard: My best treatment for overcoming grief

This girl has completely lost it! Aren’t these thoughts crossing your mind?

On the one hand, I am asking you to relieve your mind and on the other hand, I am suggesting something like this to cure depression?

I am trying to make you see that you can overcome grief. 

Well, it seems counter-intuitive. Though it’s not.
Meditation is for the calmness of the mind.

It channels the stress away. You need to keep your mind calm and your body busy at the same time.

Quick action:

  • Learn your favorite skill which could benefit you, no matter how hard it is. You will find relaxation if after grief you have never enjoyed living in the world.
  • Remember, being depressed is a weapon you have. Yeah, you read it right. Just use this weapon carefully, either you can shoot yourself with it or shoot the worldly problems.
  • Let your mind remain calm and quiet with the aid of a difficult concentration.
  • You will have to train your mind rather than torturing yourself by being hard on yourself. Yes, become hard on yourself. But only to learn something new rather than punishing yourself for old sorrows.

Tapping my tale:

This one is my personal favorite to overcome grief, as the effort of going the hard way really helped me.

I learned a lot about graphics when my dad departed.

I took the hard way and decided to start my own business rather than rot in the corner of my room.
Love challenges and the fire of a depressed heart is enough to solve them.

My final words to overcome grief

I know you have gone through a lot and now is time to overcome grief. 

But get one thing today: Now you can win over anything.

So in a nutshell, being depressed means you are already strong so use the strength in the right way.

I want to know your story so do tell me. You can help many others.

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